If you read my first blog post, The Time is Now, I mentioned how as a self-proclaimed natural hair enthusiast I wanted to start a natural hair blog. The Holy Spirit soon led me to go in another direction of ministering the gospel to women, particularly wives. Despite knowing one of the many purposes for my life, the desire God placed in my heart to care for my natural hair still remains.
Change of Plans
Earlier in the year, I started a YouTube Channel geared towards recording my natural hair journey through videos. I had been in a hair rut since getting married. Being a wife and taking care of my home became my first ministry, so caring for my hair took a backseat. Since I was newly married, I wanted to look nice for my husband. I considered changing my hairstyle to something that required less maintenance than afro-texture, natural hair. I randomly posted to my Facebook page what I was considering and I immediately received tons of feedback from women and men talking me out of it! The support for my hair was so encouraging! I decided not to change my hair and opted to create a YouTube channel to pay it forward and encourage other women instead. Since creating my blog, my YouTube channel will now include ministering to woman regarding all things Godly womanhood.
The bible says, God will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). Caring for my natural hair has been on my heart since October 3, 2012. Growing up I had self-esteem issues related to my natural hair. Through prayer to God and making Him Lord over my hair care, I have been delivered from those self-esteem issues.
God has a funny way of using the most random things to get your attention to teach you a lesson. This weekend, he used my hair needing a trim to teach me a lesson about love & trust in marriage.
Paul Defines Love
One of the scriptures I hear referenced from the bible comes from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the apostle Paul define’s love.
Love suffers long and is kind; it does not envy; it does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
These verses give great detail on how we are to love our spouse in marriage. How many of us can say that we have studied these verses and apply them in our marriage? Don’t feel condemned if you haven’t. I hadn’t done this myself, but after the lesson I learned I will spend more time studying and applying the scriptures instead of just reading them.
Believes All Things
In verse 7, Paul tells us that love “believes all things.” Another translation says, love “never stops trusting.” How much do you trust your spouse? To be completely transparent, I didn’t trust my husband with my hair.
My husband, Lawrence, is a servant! He is constantly looking for ways to serve and cater to me. He often watches me style my hair and has asked me numerous times if he could help with styling to show his love and affection for me. There is a stereotype in the African-American hair community that African American women don’t let men touch their hair. However, I didn’t decline for that reason. I declined because I have had bad experiences with hair stylists. As a result, I stopped trusting people to do my hair. Unfortunately, that included my husband.
Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measure
I started my wash day late Thursday afternoon. Midway through, I decided to blow dry and straighten for a trim. My last trim was at the beginning of April so I was long overdue. I do my own trims since I stopped going to hair salons over 5 years ago. I am usually not concerned with my hair being even since I don’t wear my hair straight. After I finished blow drying and straightening, I sectioned my hair and trimmed my dead ends. That is typically where I stop prior to styling. I glanced at my hair in the mirror and my ends were so uneven! It was obvious that my self-trim wouldn’t suffice. Desperately, I needed a professional trim. It was 10 pm at night, so I did the next best thing and called my Husband.
I was convinced that I had lost my mind. My husband is not a beautician. He’s never cut anyone’s hair. He doesn’t even cut his own hair. I felt the Holy Spirit repeating 1 Corinthians 13:7 in my spirit, “love never stops trusting.” At that moment, I realized this wasn’t about needing a trim. It was more about trusting my Husband. Could I trust my husband, whom I love, with something so dear to me…my hair? Although my flesh was saying “no,” my spirit said “yes! ” I handed him the scissors (of course not before showing him a “how to” video and lovingly instilling the fear of God in him!). “Snip, snip, snip!” “All done!” He handed me the mirror. To my surprise, my hair was perfect! He took off just enough to preserve my length, but enough to make it even!
This was a simple lesson on trust that was so significant to my marriage. Knowing I can trust my husband in minor things (For example, cutting my hair, although it felt major those few seconds before the scissors touched my head!), means I can trust him in major things, like making decisions and providing for our family.
Is there an area of your life that is off limits to your husband? Do you trust your husband with all things? If not, begin to mediate on 1 Corinthians 13:7 and allow the Holy Spirit to soften your heart in that area like He did for me.
All the Single Ladies!
Interested in knowing how I trimmed my own hair for length retention? You can watch my video below. Be sure to subscribe to my channel for future updates.
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Grace and Peace